i wrote a letter to myself in 6th grade..

...in that letter I asked myself a slew of questions inquiring if I had achieved what 11 year old Cheetah Girl saw as embodying a full and meaningful adult life. Little did I know when I got the letter on the day of my high school graduation I was just starting to create the life I thought I wanted, and I was going to set out doing it all by trial and error.
It's funny that at age 11 when I wrote the original letter I was concerned with seemingly trivial things like was Lindsay still my best friend or who was my crush. However, thinking about it right now, maybe we should listen to what 11 year olds think are essential in life. I didn't ask if I was driving a German made car with the luxury package and I didn't ask how much was in my checking account. I asked questions like did my little brother finally grow into his big head and if I was a lawyer yet, not how many Italian leather purses I had or how many contacts I had in my smartphone.
I think  a lot of the time we lose sight of the things that hold together a meaningful life like glue. Instead we  focus more on all the things to fill the cracks that begin to show in our life. Just like botox fills laugh lines of a happy life, shots of patron on a friday night seem to erase the trails of a stressful work and school week. It makes me wonder why we scurry around hoarding these material things like we're packing away for winter hibernation but let things like friendships, family bonds, real relationships with the opposite sex, inner peace and health fall to the wayside. I have realized lately that I was purposely exterminating those real things like a rodent infestation and investing all my time and energy into the things that only gave momentary satisfaction, only to wake up Monday morning with bumps, bruises, an empty wallet, and a hazy memory of lude acts to show for it.
I also know that in your late teens and into your twenties, these kinds of acts are supposed to happen and be the mantra of your younger years before you settle down with a mortgage and family, but that doesn't mean we have to completely cut off those other things cold turkey; you never know if they will still be there once you're ready to come back.  I guess the thing that's been running around in my head for a few weeks is the perfect balance between the two without losing sight of not only who you are, but also who you want to be. The real question comes down to..

If your 11 year old self met you today, would they be proud?